Got Cursed?

*Caution: This post contains minor spoilers for the movie "Cursed". Just some cameos. No plot spoilers though. I don't think. Maybe.*

For the second Friday in a row, I went to the movies with the Shad. On the menu for today: "Cursed". That would be the Christina Ricci werewolf movie by "Scream" writer Kevin Williamson that you may or may not have seen commercials for.

First off, I liked the Scream movies. I like Kevin Williamson (yes, even Dawson's Creek). Speaking of, I like Joshua Jackson. I like werewolf movies. This movie had all these ingredients. I was still cautiously prepared for it to suck rocks. Which is sometimes the best attitude to have when going to see a movie because you are never disappointed. Either you are delightfully surprised or proven right which are both nice things that can happen for a person.

However when I saw Scott Baio's name in the credits, I knew we were in for a treat. Not only was Chotchie in Charge, but he was playing himself! Now there were a few times that the acting or script was laugh out loudable even though it wasn't supposed to be. But there were way more times that it was actually funny when it was supposed to be. I enjoyed it. It was fun. And I jumped more times than I have in any other movie. I'm not normally a jumper but today I was a little girl in a pretty pink dress with pretty pink bows in my hair. Oh, and I jumped a lot.

One minor pet peeve... in the movie if you are bitten by a werewolf you get five dots on your hand which make a pentagram if you have a magic marker handy. They kept calling this "THE mark of THE beast". I thought that title belonged to a different mark and a different beast. I couldn't get past that in the movie. Wasn't a deal-breaker or anything but...I thought they should have called it "A mark of A beast". You know for copyright sake.

While this movie doesn't HAVE to be seen on the big screen to be appreciated, I still would recommend it if'n you like any of the following:

Wes Craven
Those dolls with the big eyes and foreheads
The Mighty Ducks movies
Happy Days and/or Charles in Charge
Werewolves
Golden Retrievers
Craig Kilborn
Bowling For Soup
Lance Bass
Shooting "the bird" (second movie in a row for me with prominent flip-offs)
Lines that aren't supposed to be funny but crappy delivery makes them just that
The WWE
Lex Luthor
Funny gay characters
Not so subtle metaphors for "that time of the month"

Until next time, movielovers...See you in the aisles...Stuck to the floor.

PostHaste Recommends...

Not quite through with my stack from this week but I am going to definitely recommend the following books that came out this week:

Ultimate Nightmare # 5 - This ends the first miniseries of Garth Ennis' Ultimate Trilogy. We get the introduction of another Ultimate character and a revelation of another to come. This was a great x-men/ultimates crossover that was full of sci-fi creepiness. I can't wait for the next mini "Ultimate Secret".

Phoenix: Endsong # 3 - The title character of this book seems to die and come back more than any other. But just when you think Marvel is trying to cash in on other popular resurrections (Colosus - Yes! Psylocke - ?) they have actually snuck in a great story and some unbelievable art. Fans of the new Iron Man and Astonishing X-Men will dig the photorealistic artwork. This title is a surprise hit for me.

Legion of Super-Heroes # 3 - This is a fun comic with fun writing and cool teens with cool powers and silly throwback names like "Element Lad" and "Triplicate Girl". And yet some very serious and ominous danger lurks on the horizon.

Well, thems the ones I read and can recommend. Still haven't read Powers # 9 or Small Gods # 7 or the one I am really looking forward to: Scurvy Dogs # 1-5*.

* Technically not part of this weeks releases but I ordered the back issues this week and should get them next. I can still look forward to it! Gah! What do you think!?

Dreamin' About Myself

Last night I had a dream about myself. Then I got to thinking, do I ever not appear in my dreams? I don't think so. I think I'm in them all. Wow. What an ego! Well, it's good thing my dreams lower me down a peg or two.

My dream: I go on the internet and find out that they are announcing nominess for blog awards. I've barely been doing this a month but I was one of three finalists in one of their categories. The category: "Bloggers who shouldn't be allowed to blog."

No, I don't remember who else was nominated...

My Favorite Joke Ever

I had a fantastic time with Shad today playing this game called Halo and its spawn, the aptly named Halo 2. So much fun that I had to go straight to work and did not bring any comics with me. So hopefully I will have some recommends by tomorrow night.

In the meantime, I thought I would tide the masses over with a mini-post. I was just up here at work enjoying a Dippin' Strips pizza and a can of Big Red when I got to jonesing for my favorite joke ever. I hadn't heard it in a while and hadn't read it since I first came to know of it. I decided to google it to catch up with my old friend. The first hit I got was for an English as Second Language site that had a jokes page to help people learn the language in a more funner way. After reading the joke again, I had a very good chuckle. Then, I noticed a little link that said "I didn't get it." So I clicked it and the explanation window that popped up made it even more delightful. So here it is in all its glory:

http://english-zone.com/esl-jokes/brown.html

Don't forget to click the "I didn't get it button." Then it makes the joke officially how I would tell it.

Peace Out To The Max

Not A Good Day To Be A Nerd Who Got His XBOX Before 2003

I was originally going to post about how bummed/freaked-out I was that one of the most beloved members of my household had the potential to be a fiery bringer of destruction and sorrow.

But as you can see from the other posts today... there is a new dawn of hope for me and my kind and it comes in many glorious forms. So, I will not worry about my XBOX bursting into flames and taking with it my almost 20 hours of KOTOR II in progress... and maybe the house too... but I will instead be there, for better or for worse, holding its little* controller in my hand, never leaving its side, until the replacement power chord arrives in the mail in two to six weeks.

*I do realize the DUKE is bigger than my face. And yes, my DUKE is bigger than your controller-s.

Good Day To Be A Nerd

Or at least to be me.

Not only did I find out that Joss Whedon AND John Cassaday just announced they will be continuing their run on Astonishing X-Men for a whole 'nother year...

...but I also just watched the 'ASD' trailer online. You may have recalled my one gripe about 'Constantine' was a lack of this trailer beforehand. Well, it's apparently not because it wasn't ready, but because Fossil never fails to disappoint me (as I suspected).

So what did I think of it? Wow. It looks great. When I first saw the stills from it I thought, "Cool. This is going to look like a moving graphic novel." When I saw the trailer, I couldn't believe how much more it was than that. There are scenes in it that look and feel like they have more depth in them than a normal movie. Like a 3-D effect without the cheesy glasses or without breaking the plane of the screen. It's hard to explain. You just have to see it. I am very impressed with the animation and coloring. Kudos to Janx and the team out there! I just wish I could have seen it on the big screen (grrr...Fossil).

Well, in Fossil's defense there were no sound problems (for once) during 'Constantine', so aside from jipping on the trailer, it was a good experience. Well, except for 'The Twenty' also. They need to get rid of that thing.

Fun with Duck Mo (Part Two of ATSPAP)

I drove down to Austin with Rachel's cousin Duck Mo because he too likes to have his girlfriend live in the Austin area. I didn't really get to hang with him until Sunday night. We had a blast. We went to Slick Willies for billiards. He's really good. I have to rely on blind luck. He beat me a lot. We played two games of darts in which I owned him. By owned I mean that I was marginally less bad than he. Rachel went with us but with work in the morning toasted us with her Guiness and headed home early. We boys stayed until they kicked us out at 2:00am.

It was a lot of fun. It was really the first time I have been able to hang out with him just us two. It's usually in the context of his and Rachel's families or in the context of our Halo clan Hypoxia. We cracked a lot of wise and had a great trip back where we just kept seeing the stupidest things ever, thanks to Podunk, TX that stretches I-35 between Austin and Fort Worth.

The highlight would have to be stopping at the Czech Stop. They have an amazing bakery there. Really good. Not so amazing: their toy aisle. Seriously it was painful. They had an action figure in its plastic and cardboard that you could see was just assembled from lesser action figure parts. An arm there, head here. The flesh-colored paint on the face was actually starting to wear off revealing a dull gray underneath. This had also caused the facial features to wear away. The solution: draw on eyes, eyebrows, nose, and mouth with a felt tip marker. As a rabid collector of action figures I felt I should buy this for $1.98 plus tax just to show it to people or put on this site. Alas, I did not. I take consolation in the fact that it will still be there when I go back by next trip.

The grandaddy misfit toy (of many) however would be a bag of plastic toy insects. Surely you have seen these. Clear plastic bag. Colorful cardboard at the top closure. It read "Insects". It pictured:
A dragonfly - ok.
A grasshopper - alright.
A spider - well, arachnid but close.
A frog - now, wait that's just wrong.
And the king of all insects - an alligator.
"In the bag itself?" you ask. Two plastic lizards.

I only wish I could make this stuff up. Please if you get the chance to stop in the Czech Stop just north of Waco on 35 treat yourself to some delicious sausage cheese rolls and then spend 30 minutes laughing yourself hoarse in the toy aisle. That's where you will find me.

Vertigoes 3 for 3 at the Non-Latin Grammy's

So happy for U2's "Vertigo". Nominated thrice and winly thruss for:
'Best Rock Performance By a Duo or Group With Vocal'
'Best Rock Song' and
'Best Short Form Music Video'

I'm actually glad that HTDAAB was not up for best album (next year though). That way Green Day could win with their AmAzInG album "American Idiot". I predict U2 will do like they did with "Beautiful Day" in 2001 and then "All That You Can't Leave Behind" in 2002 with "Vertigo" this year and HTDAAB next year.

Clean Sweep!

Austin, Alright! (Part One of the Austin Trip Super Post-A-Palooza)

I went to Austin last weekend to visit Rachel. And to visit Janx but he was still too sick. Next time my friend. Hope you are feeling better.

I had a really good time. It was Rachel's best friend's birthday so we hit the town Saturday night. First we went to Eddie V's Edgewater Grill for some fancy pants cocktails and appetizers in their "V Lounge". I dropped a fat wad there, but it was worth it. A little packed, what with the Valentine's crowd and all, but just a great atmosphere. They had a lady crooner there that sounded like Macy Gray meets Norah Jones. She was good. And her boys on piano and upright bass were fantastic. It really complimented, if not, made the atmosphere there.

Maybe, it's here that I should interject that it was me and five girls. While we met up with other people (including guys) at these places, it was pretty much me and five girls in my party. Now, on the one hand I looked like the man or "pimp" as they would say. On the other, I was basically a pack mule* for purses and shoes by the end of the night. At the V Lounge the girls said they felt like the tv show "Sex in the City" and they each took a character name. They looked at me and didn't know which guy from the show I should be so I asked if I could just be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Is that weird? Anyway, the two single girls in the group split off to find where the Real World was filming (when asked about being on MTV, I said that I would just yell at the camera "Play some freaking music videos!"). I felt a bit protective of the three girls left with me that were spoken for/married to marines serving in Iraq (especially the one spoken for by me). So I kinda played boyfriend/mother hen/c**k blocker to any skeezy guys too drunk to see a wedding ring (or to care).

That mostly happened at this place called Light Bar** that we went to next and last. I still had a ton of fun. Made some new friends. I don't go to bars or clubs unless it is to see live music so just going and having a good time was new. For the most part I liked the DJ. Especially when he mixed 50 Cent's "In Da Club" vocals with Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" music. Although I think he had it on vinyl already and did not mix it live. It was still diggible. The rooftop area of the bar was my favorite. It has a great view of the Frost Bank tower . I lost Rachel for a second and that was scary. But other than that it was one of the most fun nights I've had.

I checked off the following drinks from my "Done Did" list:
Jameson & Coke - I HATE Jack & Coke. Heck, I HATE Coke. But the Irish in me thought this was nummy!
Vodka & Tonic - Grey Goose, I believe. I like G&T's well enough, but this Russian cousin was far smoother.
Red Bull & Vodka - Like many people, alcohol makes me sleepy. This is how kids counter it. Red Bull is kinda nasty to me but it gets the job done. Kinda like this drink. (Side note: if I'm reaching for a caffeinated energy drink, I'm reaching for Bawls. Which got me thinking... Vodka & Bawls? Hmmm...)
Buttery Ni**le - Ok. So I don't do shots. Ever. Maybe twice before in my life. Someone bought a round of these for the girls in my party. Rachel correctly realized that she did not need this so I took the bullet (get it? shot. bullet.) for her. I'm not sure what's in one of these but it tastes like butterscotch and fire. Yes I realize I'm a baby. No I don't care.

* thanks to Rachel's dad for the pack mule analogy.
** Yes, I have checked the Light Bar website's pictures page for the night we went. No I didn't see any of us (maybe the birthday girl's back in one). Yes I have better pictures on my camera. No you can't see them. Ok maybe, if you ask nice. There is still a chance we may make it on a video they were shooting for the website. Oh, I hope so. That would show those real world kids.

"Consta-pated!"

That was the word I came up with to describe how much I was anticipating seeing the movie "Constantine" today. I thought I would share it.

So I did indeed see it. I went to Fossil with my brother from another fish . We both thought it was great although we noted that if it hadn't ended the way it had it would not have been. For spoilery reasons, that's all I'll say about it. Well, that and if you don't like demonic imagery you should probably go see Pooh's Heffalump Movie instead, which I hear doesn't have as much in it.

Otherwise, I can recommend the movie if you like comic based movies and are open minded enough to accept that this is more supernatural horror than relegious doctrine. And if you are open minded enough to accept Mr. Gwen Stefani as an actor. Yes, THAT guy from that Bush band. It helps that he is CGI "half" the time. Mwah-heh. Chortle. Cough. Sigh.

Oh yeah! And there wasn't a trailer for "ASD". What's up with that?

Recent Name Droppage

You know how you never notice something and then suddenly it's everywhere? Let's take a gamertag I play with a lot: Haste. I play Halo and Halo 2 with this name. In the main story line of Halo 2 (or as I like to call it: the only story line), a character mentions that it is because of HASTE that the first Halo was destroyed. And I thought no one had noticed.

Haste was already taken on xbox live so I used PostHaste as my gamertag online (although I have grown to like it more and use it everywhere, even here). As I was reading the new Runaways (which rocked me until I lay barefoot next to all the socks I own), Brian K. Vaughn used the word posthaste in one of his actiony dialogue scenes. IN BOLD. Could it be he has heard of me?

Fun Fact: Haste and his alter-ego PostHaste live in a universe I created mostly in my head but also on paper. A bit. I adopt their names from time to time because they are my most beloved creation. One day the world will know their story. When the world makes ready for it.

We Interupt This Blog For An Important Announcement

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I was in Austin last week and am sick this week. My next real post will be about my trip. Hopefully I will get that up before the weekend.

...so seems like a lot of people down in Austin were sick during my visit. And now that I am back I'm finding that a bunch of people up here are too. And wouldn't you know it, now I have caught the "something's been going around" bug. It's not fun. But before bed I am gonna drop a Nyquil bomb on it. And I intend to let that be an example to all the other things "going around". That's just my foreign policy on them. I make no apologies.

Except for when I don't post often enough. But I am popping my nose out from under the tissue to appease the masses.

If You Can't Get It At Wal-Mart, Then You Don't Need It

I had to get groceries today at Wal-Mart which means I got some new dvds and music.

Music:
Taking Back Sunday - "Where You Want To Be"
John Mayer - "Heavier Things"

Finally! Both of these have been long overdue on my list. I've already listened to them both and highly recommend them. The cd booklet for "Heavier Things" is just about the most unique I've seen. Find someone nearby who has it and check it out for yourself.

DVDs:
Donnie Darko: Director's Cut (haven't seen this cut yet of one of my favorite movies. as long as the soundtrack is intact, I don't see how it could go wrong)
Anchorman (just recently watched this again and have been quoting it nonstop. had to buy)
Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2 (been meaning to for a while. They were $13.72 each. had to pounce)
SNL: Best of Jimmy Fallon (apparently I'm a sucker for actors who can't keep it together live)
Shaun of the Dead (because it owns! one of the best films of last year)

Also Comics! (not from wal-mart)
(note that I haven't read these yet but I can absolutely give a blind recommendation on these)
Astonishing X-Men #8 (go Joss go!)
Runaways vol 2 # 1 (just finished vol 1 in the trades last week and am stoked about this relaunch. Brian K. Vaughan is the man right now!)
Ex Machina # 8 (BKV again. seriously. read everything this guy's name is on. if you're into comics that is. actually, even if you aren't)
Wolverine # 25 (I jumped on board this wolviebook back when Millar took over. this story line has been great.)
Green Lantern: Rebirth # 4 (come on! It's Hal Jordan!)

I'm going to try and give weekly comic picks. If only because I know Janx cares.

Lastly, Wow.

Someone on my Act One newsgroup linked to this article. I read it and just loved the guys style and his story. It felt more like a short story than an article reporting on Christian Rock festivals. It is wordy (23 pages so... you. will. click. next. a. lot.) but I couldn't stop reading it. If you enjoy good writing and soul searching, have ever been to a Christian music festival, and/or love those crazy West Virginians, then I highly recommend.

Oh, and if you read my entry at the elseworlds blog and haven't praised me or torn me a new one please leave a comment here on my blog. Thanks.

Now for Nyquil induced coma.
Mmmmm...coma.

"William Hung meets the Star Wars Kid"

What a great description for this latest internet phenom. If you haven't seen this yet, it's fantastic! Between this guy's dancing and Nyquil, I'll have this cruddiness beat in no time.

Go, Gary!

(Click 'Watch This Movie'. After it loads, select the version without subtitles first because you don't want anything to take away from this experience. And just skip the original version all together.)

When They Were Handing Out Blogs, I Must Have Been In the...

...well if you read the first post you know where that sentence is going.

But seriously, all bathroom humor aside, I really am getting jipped by the short end of the screw. First off when I tried to register my blog as simply "posthaste.blogspot.com" it was naturally taken. That's cool. It happens. So I settle for the not at all clunky "rantingsposthaste.blog.." ah forget it I can't even write the whole long thing. Well, I thought I would make a courtesy call on the blog that should be mine and what really cheesed me was that the last post is from...May. Come on! People need to... well, I need to use that thing. So I thought we (me and whoever read this and felt so inclined) could comment on that last post from May. You know something like "Crap or get off the pot" or something equally subtle.

Please don't. That's a joke. I have no intentions of spamming someone's comments page. And yes I know I am two for two on bathroom references in my posts. I'll try to clean it up.

Further Jippage

On my profile under music you may have noticed that I put "You Too". Now, while I like your music just fine (yes even you) it is really because of some flaw that won't let it recognize two character long names or something like that. Because there couldn't possibly be any two character long names in music that anyone would list. Or maybe I am just stupid and don't know how to do it right (although I seem to be able to get other ones to work...)

In News That Would Qualify as Nonjippable

I will be writing on another blog. A friend from my Act One days put out a call for writers on his "tongue in cheek sci-fi serial adventure". It will be written in Round Robin which means a rotation of different writers taking the story in shifts with no pre-collaboration. Zaniness ensues. My friend started it off and I have turned in my part which should be appearing any day now. So if you can't get enough of me here, check out www.elseworlds.blogspot.com (oh sure elseworlds wasn't taken). There will also be an ongoing link on the right of this page for future reference and I'll try to keep you posted when my number is up again.

Further U2 Jippiness

First the tour is delayed (looks like we have to wait til the fall, Texas) and now the few shows that were scheduled in North America this spring were attacked by scalpers.

U2's long time fan club Propaganda closed shop but an official online fan club took its place. By becoming a memeber you could take part in a presale like the old fan club could. Well scalpers took gross advantage of this and you can see for yourself on ebay. Do a search for U2 tickets and you will easily get 76 pages, yes PAGES, of auctions. Keep in mind that there are only 13 North American shows scheduled. Although this doesn't directly affect me because I am waiting til they come back in the fall I was pretty livid. I can only imagine how the band feels. Oh wait no I don't. Larry Mullen emailed me.

So lots of people who paid for the fan club membership are mad because they didn't get tickets. Now while I somehow didn't interpret a fan club membership as a guarantee to get a ticket, lots of others did so they are refunding memberships if you want it. I don't. Thanks though. I can understand people being upset and even getting refunds. Hey if you misinterpretted that's cool. What I can't believe is that "fans" would point fingers at the band. Right. They are hurting for money so they scam their audience with an online version of the fan club they have been doing offline for nearly 30 years. Whatever, Larry Mullen said it better than me so I'll get off my soapbox.

Seacrest Out.